Commercial Breaks
by Computer Pikachu
Summary: Join Misty, Ash, May, and Drew as they advertise your favorite products from TV! VERY-VERY minor Contestshipping and Pokeshipping. Chapter 12: Febreeze. Complete FOR NOW.
1. The Snuggie

**Commercial Breaks:**

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**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: TYPICAL STUFF! (might not be using this much)

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The Snuggie

_Narrator: Brock_

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**Doesn't it suck when you finally get warm, and then the phone rings? Or when you need to reach for the remote? That damn blanket has to come right off for you to get the simplest things!**

_Drew curses under his breath, looking irritated, as he had finally gotten comfortable under his blanket and the phone rings. He gets up, dropping his 'used to be warm' blanket and reaches for the phone._

**And when you want to give you're lover a welcomed hug, but your arms are trapped inside?**

_May gets up from the couch with her blanket still clinging to her and hugs Drew as he enters the house's door. They both sweatdropped._

**It makes you look like an idiot! It's like you're wrapping a towel around your partner's body as if they were a woman getting out of the shower!**

_May throws the blanket to the ground and stomps on it with a very angry face. Drew joins in seconds later._

**BUT FEAR NO LONGER! FOR WE HAVE MADE A BLANKET WITH SLEEVES! IT'S A NEW INVENTION CALLED THE SNUGGIE! **

**No-it-is-not-a-sweater-with-a-long-tail-in-the-front.**(Brock said that part very fast)

_Ash magically appears inbetween them with the wearing a blue version of the new product. May and Drew put on surprised looks._

_Then, the two Snuggie-less teens magically appear in a green (Drew)and red (May) Snuggie._

**Yeah, that's right, you can mobilize anywhere while staying warm! And only for… $19.99!**

_Misty is chasing Ash around the kitchen with her mallet in a yellow Snuggie, yelling inappropriate things that are muted._

_Drew is running away from fangirls, also in green Snuggies, as they try to make-out with him or do other weird crazed-fan things._

_May stands on the sidelines laughing her butt off as Drew trips on his Snuggie and is dog-piled by the fans._

**You can… ****Eat a snack!**

_May and Ash are sitting on the couch, stuffing their faces with ramen. Misty and Drew just stare in shock that they could eat so fast._

**You can… Join the wave at your son's baseball game; totally embarrassing him in front of his teammates!**

_Misty, Ash, May, and Drew sit on the bleachers in their Snuggies and do the wave with everyone else watching the game. _

_Everybody on the stands jerks their heads to the four, not believing what they're seeing._

_Max face-palms his head as he turns a shade of bright red._

**You can… Finally snuggle up with your partner without fighting over the blanket!**

_Drew and May are arguing and tugging on each ends of the blanket they had to share as they watched a movie._

-MAGIC-

_Drew and May are now in snuggling in each others' arms with their own Snuggies, keeping warm, and enjoying the horror movie being played on the television._

**YEAH! And you have the ability to do all of this and more for just 19.99! **

**Ahh… THAT'S NOT ALL!**

**We'll add in a MINI LIGHTSABER! Now you can unleash your inner geek and swing that 4 inch glow stick around!**

_Ash is alone in the dark with his blue snuggie on while flinging a blue lightsaber in the air. Until Misty (in her yellow one) unfortunately turns on the lights and walks in on him. She sweatdrops._

**This amazing gift, usually at the price of 15 dollars, is ****FREE!**

**BUT WAIT…**

**WE'RE GOING TO **_**DOUBLE**_** THE OFFER! Now you get 2 Snuggies and 2 Mini Lightsabers for the price of one! You can choose from our selection of colors for these wonderful sweater- I mean Snuggies: Blue, red, yellow, green, and a new addition of PURPLE! You can now have a total Star Wars moment and battle it out with the two mini lightsabers since the Snuggie makes you look like a Jedi master!**

_Ash face, looking extremely embarrassed after Misty walking in on his geek-mode, stops when Misty turns the lights back off and pulls out a red mini lightsaber. They are now in an EPIC Star Wars re-inactment battle with the 'Bzzzt' and 'Pshew' sound effects in the background. Misty then stabs the red glow stick under Ash's armpit and he 'dramatically' falls to the ground, pretending to die. The red-head then puts one foot on the boy's stomach, posing a victorious stance. _

**You get all of this **_**STILL**_** for 19.99! This package deal would usually cost around 75 dollars, but, lucky you, we're giving it to you for 19.99! With-the-addition-of-paying-shipping-and-handling. Just call the number 1-800-687-6741 or go online to getsnuggie dot com! Once again, it's 1-800-687-6741. 1-800-687-6741. Call now: 1-800-687-6741. 1-800-687-6741. **

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**Haha all done. I hope you liked this. Sorry if it sucked if you didn't like it… Anyways, I'm still continuing with other products that I have in mind already. BUT if you want, you can _suggest_ some others you want to have parody-ized and stuff. Woooo this is what happens when you're bored on a summer day. Write random things. YAY!**

**By the way, I don't know if I can do this, but that's the real phone number of the Snuggie. Hehe... And the real website. **

**JUST SO YOU KNOW: MINI LIGHTSABERS SO NOT COME WITH THE REAL SNUGGIE IN THIS WORLD. I JUST CAME UP WITH IT CUZ SNUGGIES REMIND ME OF JEDIS FROM STAR WARS!**


	2. The Fushigi

**Commercial Breaks:**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

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The Fushigi

_Narrator: Brock_

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**It's big. It's bad. It's cool. It's amazing. It's crazy. It's… THE FUSHIGI! This new gravity-levitating ball is the BOMB! No… Not literally. It's just so mind-blowing [hehe] that you MUST get your hands on one!**

_Professionals are doing crazing things with the ball. XD_

**Take a look at these random people we found on the street and watch their reactions to the Fushigi!**

_Screen turns to Dawn and Paul. Dawn is successfully gliding it between her fingers and rolling it everywhere on her hands to arms._

"WOW! This thing is amazing! It's like… FLOATING ON MY BODY!" Dawn exclaims. "PAUL! You must try this!"

_Paul was given his own Fushigi, while Dawn continues to mess around with hers._

"Hn. Lame toy. It looks like they're just holding it to me." Paul stated as he simply drops the ball on the floor and walks away from the camera crew and Dawn.

_The girl gets that 'blue streaked forehead thing from the cartoon' and sweatdrops. _

"I STILL THINK IT'S AWESOME! Fushigi!" she yelled in order to break the awkward silence.

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_Screen now goes to Misty's location._

"I don't get it! It's not working for me!" Misty furiously yelled as she stared at the ball in her hand. "Isn't it supposed to be floating?"

_Misty has a staring contest with the ball just sitting on her palm doing nothing. Then she grabs her mallet, so close to smashing it until May enters._

"Haha Misty! You can't just stare at it! AND DON'T HURT IT! You're supposed to do this!" May took the ball out of Misty's palm and tried to do what those professionals did before.

_The brunette attempts to roll the ball back and forth on her bare arms. Unfortunately, she fails when the ball plops to the ground; May sweatdrops. Then hysterical laughing comes in the background._

"FAIL, MAY," a green-headed jerk teased, picking the ball up from the ground, "you're supposed to do it like THIS."

_Drew moves the ball between his two palms, but then it slips and falls straight to the ground._

"Gee, Drew, aren't you the master of Fushigi." May stated, shaking her head.

"Haha, yeah! You failed like us!" Misty joined in and pointed her finger toward the grass head, grabbing her stomach since it began to hurt from all the laughter.

"This thing must DIE!" Drew stole Misty's mallet from her back pocket and is about to smack it into the ground until…

_Screen moves to Ash, where he is surprisingly moving the ball around his body like the pros were in the beginning._

"This is the COOLEST toy ever!" Ash yells, walking past Misty, May, and Drew who were gaping at the sight.

"HOLY SHAM! ASH IS DOING IT?" They screamed in unison. "NO WAY!"

"How is Ash able to use it but we CAN'T?" May stares at Ash in disbelief.

"Is he using a string to trick us?" Drew questioned, looking irritated.

**There's no strings! No catch! It's all GRAVITY/LEVITATION! **

_The raven-haired teen is pulling off the most complicated tricks there are on the DVD._

**Oh yeah! I forgot to mention: with the purchase of a **_**great**_** price 19.99 for this amazing gravity ball, you will receive a FREE DVD that explains how to use the Fushigi!**

_May, Misty, and Drew grab a DVD, sit on the couch in Misty's gym, pop in the DVD, and watch the step-by-step video on how to use the Fushigi. _

**HEY! Who cares about those three! They're too dumb to use this thing anyways. Let's go back to our friend Ash!**

"To all of you out there," Ash sniffed, holding in tears, "this is the most amazing thing invented ever! I- I can actually use this! I've never been happier!"

_An applause can be heard in the background._

"FUSHIGI!" the teen yelled as he jumped into the air, extending his hands upward toward the sky with the ball in his left hand, with the widest smile ever.

_Then it froze, so Ash's actions turned into a picture. (Still frame) _

_Underneath Ash's feet were big bold letters in an arc shape: FUSHIGI! And under the Fushigi sign was the small print that said: It's so easy, Ash Ketchum can do it!_

**Alright! Now that you have seen some of the customers' reviews, go buy your Fushigi ball today! ONLY 19.99 with a free step-by-step DVD! THIS IS A LIMITED OFFER! No-not-really-since-this-commercial-will-be-played-numerous-times. (Fast talk there) CALL NOW! IT'S ONLY 19.99! Remember... It's so easy, ASH KETCHUM CAN DO IT!**

_Ash and Dawn are side-by-side using the amazing ball._

"FUSHIGI!"

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_Even though the commercial had started to fade out, you can hear in the distance:_

"WE STILL CAN'T DO THIS!"

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**Hehe I updated again. Sorry this wasn't very good. I had the whole thing planned out yesterday, but I guess I forgot :/. Anyways, there's more coming up! Hope you enjoyed it, even though this kinda failed… BYE! Review if you want by the way. I love reading feedback. It makes my day (if it's good that is lol) :]**


	3. Progressive Insurance

**Commercial Breaks:**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

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Progressive Insurance

_No Narrator_

"Hello, my name's May! Welcome to Progressive! What are you looking for today?" the brunette girl wearing all white welcomed Misty.

"Well, I'm looking for cheap insurance!" the orange head replied pumping her fist into the air. "Do you have insurance for wrecked bikes and boats?" She asked, referring to her destroyed bike and Melody's trashed boat. (**You know, the one from that movie!**)

"Indeed we do! We can give you the cheapest insurance on anything with this…" May whipped out a scanner looking thing, "AMAZING PRICE GUN! You ask for it and we'll price it!"

Misty was in awe. Progressive was cool. She went to pick up a white box for her insurance.

"Okay, so I want insurance for a bike," May zapped the box and a barcode appeared, "a boat," **ZAP**, "a car- wait I can't drive, nevermind. Oh, Pokeballs!" **ZAP **"Hmm… Wow I guess that's it…"

The white box had 3 little barcodes now with an orange stripe across it as the logo.

"No need to worry! For your total is now… 96 dollars! What a steal!" May exclaimed as Misty 'yayed'.

"Hey, how does that thing work anyways?" Misty questioned.

"I actually don't know, but all I have to is zap boxes with the wanted vehicle or object, and a barcode appears! WATCH THIS!"

Just as the brunette started having a 'zap' frenzy, a green-haired man walked in, only to be zapped by the price gun. A barcode appeared on his forehead. The man raised his finger as if he was going to say something, but he realized nobody would care since the two in the store were in awe with the price gun zapping. Instead, he went to a price check box, scanned his forehead, and waited for his amount to appear.

The machine read: **DREW LEVIN**; **BARCODE NUMBER**: 09347519835793100. **PRICE**: $0.10. **Thank you for using the Price Box.**

"Gee, thanks May." The man known as Drew, hung his head in disappointment and walked out the sliding glass doors with the barcode still stamped on his head.

May and Misty, completely oblivious to what had just happened with Drew, were laughing at the many barcodes that they had zapped around the whole white room.

"Haha! This is so easy, Ash Ketchum could do it!" Misty said happily.

"Uhh, Misty, that's Fushigi's slogan."

"Oh, well, then it's so easy a cave man could do it!" she corrected herself.

"That's GEICO…"

"Grrrr… Have it your way!" Misty liked this one.

"…That's Burger King."

"AHH DAMMIT! I GIVE UP!" Misty took her insurance box and walked out of the store.

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_**LATER:**_

"YEAH! I GOT MY NEW BIKE!" Misty screamed to the world as she rode through a familiar forest. "OH NO ASH AND PIKACHU ARE COMING! He'll never destroy another bike of mine!"

Misty had spotted Ash running toward her direction. She panicked and swerved to the right, only to hit a very large tree. Yep, he bike got trashed again. I guess she never wins. OH WAIT. SHE HAS PROGRESSIVE!

"Oh well," she sighed, "At least I have awesome insurance!" She'll receive another bike in a few days anyways.

Turns out that Ash wasn't really there… It was just a illusion of flashback-ness.

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**Hehe this one was shorter than the other two. But it's simple! Not as humerous, but I still laughed at my own jokes. How lame of me, right? XD**

**BY THE WAY: THANK YOU SO MUCH REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! You make me proud of my work.**

**I have like... Another 5 ideas in mind haha. Hope you enjoyed! **


	4. The ShamWow

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Thank you again reviewers. I will forever love you.**

_****_

DISCLAIMER:

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

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Sham WOW

_Narrator: Drew (he's still in the commercial btw)_

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**OH NO! You just spilled your girlfriend's favorite juice all over the counter!**

_Ash accidentally tips over Misty's special juice. Misty gasps and gets out her mallet, ready to whack him._

**WAIT!**

_She freezes._

**We've got a solution to this mess! It's the Sham WOW! **

_Drew walks in with an orange cloth and soaks up the spilled juice in seconds. Misty and Ash stare in awe._

"There! All better!" Drew said.

"But what about my juice? That was the last of it!" Misty complained.

"Oh, well, I could always do this…"

_Drew squeezes the cloth's liquid into the glass that had been recently tipped over. Misty gasps._

"My hero!"

_Misty is very happy and hugs green boy. Drew winks to the camera. Then Misty lets go and drinks the juice. Ash sweatdrops and seems slightly angry that his girlfriend had just hugged a stranger that had walked into their apartment with an orange cloth._

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**SHAM WOW! This thing is amazing. It's part shammy; it's part wow. Sham WOW. This cloth holds up to 12 times its original weight!**

_Misty and Ash are in the 11 feet deep Cerulean Gym pool. Ash unfortunately forgot he couldn't swim, and was having troubles. Misty is trying her best to keep him up. Then Drew pops in with 4 Sham Wows in hand._

"Have no fear! For Drew and his Sham Wow are here!"

"DREW!" Misty and Ash cried in joy.

_Drew forces the Sham Wows into the pool and all the water gets sucked up; leaving 4 very very chunky orange cloths._

"Thank you Drew! You saved my life! You're my hero." Ash praised.

"No he's mine! He helped me first!" Misty argued. "Wait, how do we get out?" the girl asked. They were in a 11 feet deep empty tank now…

"Uhhh…" _Drew turns to the camera and winks again. For he has saved the day once again with the Sham Wow!_

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**Yeah this product is the best. Use it to dry your car! Unclog your toilet! Prevent leakage of water from your roof! Use it as an umbrella! Clean up an oil spill! A Blanket? SCREW THE SNUGGIE! There are so many things to do with the Sham Wow! You must get it today!**

_While Drew says this, May is doing the following: drying her dad's car in the hot sun with a bikini on (it turns on the watchers, ok?), stuffing the Sham Wow down the toilet, placing multiple cloths on her roof/taping them to the ceiling inside where a hole was, standing outside with a Sham Wow over her head in the POURING hurricane-like rain keeping her surprisingly dry, diving with the product in a bag until she reaches a busted oil tank and takes it out (successfully clogging the hole), and is sleeping peacefully with a Sham Wow blanket with the Snuggie abandoned in a corner. Poor Snuggie…_

**Hey, you're gonna spend over 20 dollars buying paper towels over and over, so why not just buy this? It lasts 10 years! Paper towels? Weeks! We're giving you 4 Sham Wows for the small price of 19.95! But wait, this won't be like any other advertisement unless we DOUBLE the offer; giving you a second set! Now we're average, am I right? **(Lol this reminded me of the websites MLIA and amirite) **And what the heck, if you call now, we'll send you a Sham Wow MOP! Never will you have to get on your hands and knees again if you have this baby.**

_May is singing and dancing with the mop like she's drunk. But is still cleaning the wet floors, because it turns out that the Sham Wows placed on the roof and ceiling slipped off/came off. Therefore, there were quite drenched floors in the Maple household. Why Max couldn't help? I don't know, probably because viewers would rather see a hot babe cleaning with short shorts and a revealing tank top. It sometimes makes people (mostly men) want to buy it._

**Wowzers that girl is smoking hot with the cleaning. **_Drew winks toward the camera again. _**I'm gonna need her cleaning my house one of these days… ANYWAYS that mop, a 20 dollar value, FREE if you call within the next 20 minutes! Here's how to order…**

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_After the phone number was repeatedly said to the viewers, the scene changed back to the empty pool in the Gym. Misty and Ash are holding onto each other tight, since they're trying to keep warm. _

"Hello? Anybody gonna help us?"

"Hey you know what you need to clean that pool?" a random voice rang through the big room. "OXI-CLEAN!"

_Ash and Misty screamed._

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**Woot. Another one done. I must say, these are getting really fun to write. As for the Oxi Clean thing at the end, I'm not sure if I'll be writing one for that product, because I had other things in mind. Anyways, hope you enjoyed chapter 4! The oil spill thing is fake btw. I saw it on a review thing on Youtube, so I thought, eh what the heck, I'll put it in. **

**Until next time, my readers!**


	5. The InStyler

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Thank you for reviewing :]**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

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The In-Styler

_Narrator: Dawn_

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**Don't you just LOVE those split ends and dry hair? Don't you just LOOOVE how long it takes to flat iron it?**

_May is trying to straighten her pig tails down with a normal straightener, but then creases show up and she throws the thing to the floor._

**Unless you're a complete idiot, OF COURSE YOU DON'T! All of those things suck! I mean, I'd hate for my hair to be like that! But that's why we have the InStyler! It's a rolling heat pad thing with a brush! The bristles are precision aligned meaning someone ****actually**** took the time to measure it! That's how great this thing is! In fact, it's the #1 rotating flat iron in the world! IT'S THE ONLY ROTATING FLAT IRON IN THE WORLD!**

_Misty and May are showing off their newly straightened and 'volumized' hair._

**You can do many things with this ONE flat iron! You can, well… Obviously straighten it… BUT you can also create elegant curls!**

_May is curling Misty's hair with the InStyler but holding it in one place at the top and letting it go; revealing an awesome curl. Misty and May give a fake gasp and clap._

**You can also give yourself INSANE volume!**

_May takes one of her layers at the top and makes this huge bump at the root, making an arc with her hair. Yeahh cuz one clump of hair shows insane volume!_

**Hey look! You can do fantastic flips too!**

_Misty is struggling with the flat iron and fails to make a flip. Instead, it ended up as a flat piece of hair._

**Okkaay… ANYWAYS, you'll look like you JUST walked out of the salon every day with this baby! The shiny, smooth, beautiful, and amazing hair will impress anybody! **

_May and Misty walk out of an apartment, and everyone around them stares in shock._

**But wait! This doesn't just work for girls! Guys can use it too! They need their curls, volume, body, shine, and flips!**

_Ashis straightening his messy/spiked hair, then proceeds to curl it. He looks like a girl with short curly hair now! _

_Drew is straightening his oddly colored hair, then proceeds to adding outrageous volume! He almost looks like that girl from Hairspray!_

_The screen then shows final outcomes of Ash and Drew posing with their flipped, curled, straightened, and volumized shiny hair. It's hot, trust me. I think… What do you think?_

**Eeek! Those boys are so cute! I must get myself one of these InStylers after this commercial! Moving on… You can have a 30 day trial for just 15 dollars! But you can just BUY the damn thing, because you KNOW it's great! Go to your local department store now and purchase this 100 dollar beauty!**

_May had just finished straightening her hair when Drew came into her apartment. Drew put his hands on her shoulders and they looked in the mirror, wowing at the amazing outcome. Then Drew takes the InStyler from her (to which she didn't appreciate, since you could tell by her facial expression) and begins to do his own hair. HAHA Their date could wait._

**Men, don't forget, you could look amazing all the time too with this thing! Don't be ashamed! Girls don't have to be the only ones with amazing hair products! I mean… Look at this boy!**

_Screen shows a picture of Paul._

**He like… Has totally straightened hair! I bet it's because he used the InStyler! GET IT NOW!**

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OK I DECIDED TO MAKE 2 VERSIONS OF THESE. THIS ONE IS SHORT: this is where it gets T rated…

**Don't you just love how long it takes to straighten you hair with a normal straightener? Don't you hate the burns, spit ends, and dry hair?**

_Misty is straightening her hair with a normal hair straightener, but sadly burns herself. Plus her hair has creases and split ends. She throws it to the ground, but ends up burning her toes… Smooth move…_

**Yeah. I don't and neither do you! That's why we have the InStyler! You can have OUUUTTRRAAGGEEOOUUSS VOLUME!**

_May holds the InStyler at the top of her head with the roots and lets go. It doesn't have an effect…_

**You can have fucking fantastic FLIPS!**

_Misty does whatever it takes to make a flip, but it still doesn't have an effect. Therefore, it stays straight._

**Plus you can have erotic elegant curls!**

_May tries to make a curl, but it ends up being straight anyways…_

**Ok, so fine, this thing doesn't work as well as you thought it would, but it's STILL straight hair! Oh you aren't convinced?**

_Dawn's face appears HUGE on the screen and she yells: "JUST BUY THIS FUCKING FANTASTIC HAIR STRAIGHTENER!" Back to cheery Dawn…_

**Hehe have a wonderful day and don't forget to order now! **

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**Wooow. I hated this one. I'm losing inspiration! Sorry, to the one who said I should say these sucked. BUT this one REALLY did. I don't know what I was thinking… Then again, it's 1:00 AM right now. I'm sorry for the disappointment! I'll make sure the next one is better. Please don't leave me now!**

**Anyways, I need inspiration guys :[**


	6. The Chia Pet

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Thanks for reviewing guys! I laugh at how this story gets more reviews than my serious plot one does. :]**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

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The Chia Pet

_Narrator: Brock_

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**Ch-Ch-CHIA! The Chia Pet! The pottery that grows! Soak it in water, spread the seeds, and watch it grow! **

_Misty dunks a Chikorita Chia Pet in a bucket of water and spreads black seeds all over it._

**Oops, did you spill the water everywhere? Good thing you get one free ShamWow with these pet pots.**

_Ash accidentally spills the water all over the counter, but whips out the orange cloth and easily cleans it up._

**Onward! These Chia Pets come in many different forms! We have, the Chikorita!**

_Chia Pet Chikorita shows up on the screen._

**The Growlithe!**

_Chia Pet Growlithe appears on the screen next._

**A Mareep! Glameow! Tauros! Clefairy! Spoink! Heck! We even have a TREE! Yes, grow your own pet tree. These little pets will keep you company!**

_The following appear in a row._

**But wait! We have another collection! It features your favorite people! We have, Ash Ketchum Chia Pet!**

_Ash models with his specially-made Chia Pet giving a thumbs up to the camera._

**Misty Waterflower! Cerulean Gym Leader!**

_Misty is in the pool, swimming with her personal product._

**May Maple! The coordinator who's less favored than _someone else._**

_May stares at her Chia Pet, obviously disappointed in how bad she looks bald. Being so upset, she throws her model into the fireplace and sits in a corner. _

**Lastly… We. Have. The. DREW. Yes, the FAMOUS one. The one favored more than May Maple!**

_Fan girls scream in the background while Drew strikes a pose with his modeled head. This product was meant for him. I mean… Grow your own Drew with GREEN SHRUB as GREEN HAIR?_

**This limited edition Drew pet will obviously cost an extra amount, because we know you fan girls just loooovveee him. So yes, Drew's head pottery costs $45.00. You can go find all of these at your local PokeMart or Department Store!**

_Views from one PokeMart: Many screaming girls barging into the market, trying to get their hands on the Drew Pet. May, Misty, and Ash Pets are sadly left behind; knocked over and all over the floor. _

_Behind the scenes, the 3 unwanted teens glare at Drew who nervously shrugs and sweatdrops._

**Now let's get some customer reviews!**

"Ohmygosh! I can actually have my OWN Drew! It's my dream come true!" A girl with long sky blue hair shrieks with joy as she hugs the Drew Pet.

"AHHH! I LOVE IT! I BOUGHT 4! These are all going to go in my room just so I can always wake up next to him!" Another obsessed girl began to make out with one of the pot heads. (lol pot heads)

"I don't even know _why _the company made those other 3 loser heads. Everybody only wants DREW." A girl with violet hair flicked her bangs like Drew does.

"WAHAHAHA! NOW THAT I HAVE THIS HEAD, I CAN SMASH IT AND DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO IT! I HATE DREW!" A man in a Cacturne suit with purple hair takes the head out of the box and throws it to the ground, stomping on it, until a mob of girls scream in terror and charge after him. They were pissed.

_One girl stayed behind, attempting to put the pieces back together._

"We hate the Drew Pet!" May said with Misty and Ash next to her.

"Yeah! Thanks to him, nobody wants ours!" Ash complained.

"HE DESERVES THIS!" Misty gets her mallet out and smacks the Drew Pet in May's hands. The fan girls stopped chasing Cacturne man and started charging toward Misty.

Misty knew better, she raised her mallet high and ran toward the mob, screaming: "THIS IS MADNESS!"

"THIS IS SPARTA!" May and Ash joined in with Misty, holding their own Chia Pets, and began to throw them to the crowd of crazy girls. Ash and May heads were scattered all over the floor. Misty heads were left behind at the market since she had her own lethal weapon in hand.

The fan girls were terrified as they quickly stopped and retreated. Few got hit by an Ash and May head. Many got hit by Misty's mallet. Nobody messes with Misty these days.

After running for a mile, Misty, May, and Ash came to a stop since the fans were all goners now. Then Drew walked in.

"Hey guys!" He waved with a huge smile on his face.

"GET HIM!" The 3 began charging again when a confused Drew just ran for his dear life.

**Oookaaayyy… That didn't go very well, but as you see, the Drew Pet is still very popular. You shoul-**

_Brock was cut off by a sudden screen change to an angry Misty, Ash and May. _

"Forget Drew! YOU WILL BUY OUR HEADS." They said in unison.

"OR YOU WILL FACE MY HAMMER!" Misty pushed the other two out of the screen and smashed the camera.

**AHH BUY YOUR CHIA PET TODAY!**

_Brock had managed to say his last line before the camera went off and everything went black._

* * *

_Let's just say that after that day, the Misty heads were completely sold out and the Ash and May heads were running low. Poor Drew had to sulk in a corner, because his fans became too scared and never bought a Drew Pet again. (Though, those who already had them, kept them). _

* * *

**Meh, I honestly liked this one better than the InStyler. Did you? The InStyler was just a side one I wanted to do. The main ones are the better ones obviously. I think… It's all on your opinion, guys. Anyways, I'm not sure when this will end. I need to make more commercials! :[ **

**Should I continue or end it? TELL ME WHEN! I don't want to be writing these things for another 10 years! Or maybe I do… Nah. Thanks for suffering through my failed humor guys! I love you!**


	7. The Slap Chop

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Okie dokie guys. I'll think about making those commercials you asked for, but I don't know if I can haha. :]**

**And to answer 2 questions:**

**ultimateCCC**: Hahaha! I'm not sure if he'll be the next Chuck Norris. That would be funny though!

**BlazikenGirl100**: Hmmm. I guess I enjoy writing these sometimes. Although, I feel pressured to continue writing. Oh well, I love making people laugh. :]

**And to all of you reviewers: Thank you SOOO much. You've given me a reason to write on. **

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

* * *

The Slap-Chop

_Narrator: Drew (Cuz it's the same guy doing the Sham Wow, right?)Either way, it's not really too much narrating._

* * *

WITH DREW:

"Hey it's Drew again, and here we have the Slap Chop! You'll be slappin' your troubles away with this baby." The teen pulled out a Slap Chop.

"Look, you like salad, but don't like makin' it? Take a tomato, celery, and carrots." _SLAP. SLAP. SLAP. _"THERE! SALAD!"

(_Yeah, not really. -.-_)

"Wait, you're gonna love my nuts. Put the cap on with my nuts inside, and look, one finger," _SLAP. SLAP. SLAP. _"You're lovin' my nuts."

* * *

WITH ASH 

**You love food? Then you're gonna love this.**

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

_Ash stuffs as many potatoes the product can hold and slaps the Slap Chop viciously, unfortunately jamming it._

"NOOO!"

_He falls to the ground, crying, for he had just lost his only source of food. Darn…_

**Warning: Don't over stuff the Slap Chop.**

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME SOONER!"

* * *

WITH MISTY

_Misty is about to slap some tomatoes for her pasta until…_

"AHHH! BUG!"

_She shrieked in terror and put the Slap Chop over it to prevent it from crawling closer to her. Then she had an idea._

"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR FATE BUG!"

_She slapped the poor bug into pieces; bug juice was everywhere._

**Oookay, I guess you can kill bugs with it too. I'd wash that before you cut those tomatoes though…**

_Too late._

"DAMMIT DREW! I FORGOT! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME SOONER!"

_Her tomatoes were already in her pasta. Ew..._

* * *

WITH MAY

**Got someone you hate? Well, you can make that person with your food and SLAP AWAY!**

_May gets an onion, peas, lettuce, and carrot. She puts the onion first as the head, then two peas for the eyes, carrot for a nose/mouth (whichever you like), and lettuce as a head. _

**Haha look at that creatio- WAIT. IS THAT ME? NO MAY DON'T-**

"WAHAHAHAHA!" May did that creepy/evil laugh. "DIE DREW LEVIN. DIE!"

_May slapped away as fast as she could, leaving the Drew-food head completely shredded._

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-"

* * *

**-Gulp- Umm… What did I ever do to deserve this! -Sigh- Anyways, this thing is so easy to clean! It comes apart easily!**

BACK WITH DREW:

"See? The cap comes off, then the base, and VIOLA! The thing even comes apart! The blade becomes easier to clean!"

* * *

WITH EVIL LOOKING MAY, PISSED OFF MISTY, AND TEAR STAINED ASH IN A KITCHEN.

_Ash and May are having difficulty taking the Slap Chop apart, but Misty had gotten it finished. She looks at them, shakes her head in disappointment, and walks away from the idiots._

* * *

**Hey-hey-hey! We're not finished yet! We'll give you a Graty, the free cheese grater. **

DREW AGAIN:

"Put the cheese in and TWIST. You got yourself tacos, fettuccini, linguini, martini, zucchini, tortellini, bikini-"

_He gets caught off due to pointless rhymes and customer reviews._

* * *

"If Drew's selling it, then I'm buying it!" the crowd of fans were back. -.-

"It actually works! I LOVE HIS-I MEAN MY NUTS!" Harley cheered throwing the Slap Chop in the air, only to have it land back on him.

"Drew sucks as a salesman." Ash and Misty said while shaking their heads. (Haha thanks sierrap123 for saying this. I decided to add it in!)

"I only like it, because I can crush Drew's head whenever I want." May scoffed and did that creepy laugh again. Then the fangirls glared at her. Good thing Misty was nearby, because once she took that mallet out, they quickly backed away. Their past experiences with her were not good ones.

**Whatever guys. The Slap Chop is selling for only 19.95! And you get the free Graty! YEAH! WHAT A DEAL! Don't-forget-about-shipping-and-handling. BUY YOURS TODAY AND YOU'LL JUST LOVE MY- I MEAN YOUR NUTS. **

* * *

**Yay! Short! Not as good as the past, but I had to come up with something to update! I'm sorry again. I might try to go for 10 chapters. Who knows? Not me... **

**Anyways, which of these chapters have been your favorite so far? I must know! :]**

**Thank you for continuing to read this. It means a lot to me.**


	8. OxiClean Detergent Packet Thingies

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Haha It's been awhile since I updated hasn't it? Sorry, but I was on vacation! **

**Anyways, I thank you reviewers so much! I've hit 40! I'm so happy! ONCE AGAIN: I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**By the way, I might add in my own little inventions of commercials instead of doing parodies. I just have a few on mind that might be fun. Enjoy :]**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

* * *

Oxi-Clean

_Narrator: Ash_

* * *

**Hey guys, it's Ash! I'm advertising the new OXI-CLEAN PACKET THINGIES!**

_Ash threw a whole bunch of the detergent packets in the air._

**This thing is SIMPLE! Throw one or two in the wash and BAM! You're done! Example:**

_Drew and May were under a big tree on a hill in the sunset. Romantic, right? WRONG. You could see May mouth the words "I'm sorry" and Drew preparing himself for something. _

_THEN. It happened. May raised her fist and tightly shut her eyes as she punched Drew wherever her fist went. She hit the face, the stomach, shoulders, arms, and chest, screaming random things that were muted. Ouch. There was blood stained on his light blue shirt from a few hits. May snuck a quick peek at what she had done and gasped. Man, she could hit! There was a part of her that really enjoyed this, and another that was very guilty. _

You could almost hear some fans scream in terror! GASP!

_It wasn't over yet. _

_May then grabbed the boy by the collar, snuck a little peck on the cheek and another "I'm sorry" that wasn't visible on screen, and threw him down the hill. Now there were grass stains on the shirt and jeans! Oh no! _

Ok, really, who would make this a commercial? It's so violent and sad! Oh yeah, I would.

**Dang, poor guy. His amazing shirt is now ruined! **

_Ash completely ignored the fact that his friend was injured. _

_A few seconds later, Drew walked in with a slight limp. His body was pretty bruised, but it wasn't THAT bad. Right?_

**Hey Drew! You're gonna need a solution to fixing your clothes you got there. **

_The green head replied, "Yeah, I am." He said weakly. _

**Here, give me those stained clothes of yours and let this packet do the magic!**

_Drew slowly took off his clothes in front of the camera, leaving only his boxers on. _

Somewhere in the distance, fan girls sighed in awe, shrieked with happiness, or fainted with the impact of his hotness.

**Alright! Now I will put a few of these detergent things in here… **

_Ash tossed the whole bucket of OXI-CLEAN PACKET THINGIES in the washer, and turned it on. Drew walked out of view of the camera._

_WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH  
_

**Alrighty! While we wait for this baby to finish up, let's go to customer reviews!**

"I MISS ORIGINAL BILLY!" a local town girl in Viridian City exclaimed as she buried her head in her hands.

"OMG DREW TOOK HIS CLOTHES OFF!" a crowd of fans yelled. Yes, they were back.

"Honestly, I think these OXI-CLEAN DETERGENT PACKET THINGIES actually work. I've been using it for quite a long time!" Misty lied through a fake happy face.

_May was then shown on screen at the hill with the tree and sunset, hitting herself in the head for what she had done. Obviously, she wasn't going to review about this product! It made her hurt her best friend! Plus, if she were to go to the area, the fans would try to kill her again for punching THE Drew and tossing him down a huge hill!_

_Then we switched back to Ash._

**DONE! Now, if this works, your clothes should look COMPLETELY CHANGED AND NEW! **

_Ash took Drew's clothes out of the washer and sweatdropped. Then he held them up to the camera._

**LITERALLY CHANGED!**

_In big bold yellow letters was the sentence 'literally changes your clothes!'_

_Drew's once light blue shirt was now WHITE with some spots of pink from some left over blood. The grass stains came out though!_

_His jeans… Were, uhh, spotted white with the shape of the packets. So basically, the packets stamped his jeans with bleach. Nice._

**LOOK! A NEW FASHION STATEMENT! BLEACH PACKET STAMPED JEANS! DREW'S DOING IT AND SO SHOULD YOU!**

_Then the screen began to fade when Ash was slowly exiting with a plastic and nervous smile, until Drew walked in to claim his clothes._

"WHAT THE F(BLEEP) HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES?"

_Once the screen was completely black, bold white letters said: _**DREW'S DOING IT AND SO SHOULD YOU!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

**Haha poor Drew. Today's commercial just wasn't in favor of him. AGAIN. WAHAHAHA! Good, bad? **

**Anyways, this one came in mind while I was on vacation. It was a pretty random one that popped in too… Well, hope you liked it! The next one should be better I hope. As a hint; let's just say the guys won't be liking this one.**

**;) can you guess?**


	9. Cover Girl Make Up

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Kissy Fishy****: HAHA! NAIR! Good call! But nah not that. XD**

**Ghost: thanks for the suggestions! I'll try to use those! In fact, I'll use one right now!**

**Thank you to all you reviewers again! I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS.**

**I'm so proud to have passed 50 reviews! T_T**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**Just so you know, I DON'T wear make up :]**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

* * *

Cover Girl Make-Up

_Narrator: Dawn_

* * *

**Come on girls! Let's feel SEXY with Cover Girl make up! We got eyeliners…**

_May and Misty are putting on eyeliner at the bottom of their eyes. (I forget what it's called haha)_

_Misty accidentally pokes her eye and falls out of her seat. She absolutely hated make up, but she HAD to do this because of the contract she signed with the producers of commercials. Why couldn't they get Dawn to do this for her?_

_May ignores Misty's falling out of the chair action and begins to put on the liquid eyeliner at the top of her eyelid. _

**Eye Shadow!**

_At the same place, May and Misty with an eye patch on her left eye put on some given eye shadow in front of the mirror._

_May used a nice dark blue on both of her eyes and re-applied some more liquid eyeliner on top._

_Misty was given the typical black. She applied a little too much to her one eye that showed. _

_Her friend glanced at her and laughed so hard she fell. Why? Because Misty either looked like a raccoon or had a black eye. Yeah, there was a reason why she hated make up so much._

**Foundation!**

_Man, Dawn's order of advertising make up sucked. Now they had to start over! _

_With washed faces and a now good eye, the two girls began to put a creamy substance that made their face paler to their faces, rubbing it in. The-_

* * *

"**CUT!" **the director stopped the commercial, "Where are the other two girls? Zoey and Marina?"

Dawn answered, "Well, they quit… They refused to wear make up!"

Misty growled. SHE HATED IT TOO! This was soooo not fair...

"DAMMIT! WE NEED TWO MORE HOT CHICKS TO BE IN THIS COMMERCIAL!" Dawn looked at the director with big hopeful eyes. "Sorry Dawn, no matter how sexy you are, you have to stay on the side to narrate…" the blue haired girl sighed in defeat.

"Where am I going to get two hot chicks in less than 5 minutes?" the man yelled. All the workers shrugged.

Innocent Ash and Drew, completely oblivious to what's been going on, are in the corner playing on GameBoys and reading books.

The director slowly turned his head toward the two guys. Then, the whole crew started looking at them as well.

Drew was the first to notice them. He looked up from his book, "Uhh, what?"

The crew slowly, like zombies, walked toward the poor innocent teens with huge hypnotizing eyes.

"Ash, I think-" the raven haired boy cut him off.

"SHH! I'm almost done beating the game!"

"No Ash, I think we REALLY need to RUN!" Drew headed toward the door. His friend noticed this and quickly followed after him.

"Ivysaur! VINE WHIP!" the director yelled. Poor Ash got taken first.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!"

"ASH! NOO!" Drew dramatically put out his arm, reaching for him. Once Ash was long gone in the horrible dressing room, greenie started to sprint out toward the door. Almost there! His hand was at the handle. He twisted the knob and…

"VINE WHIP AGAIN!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The guy was being pulled into the dark room of torture. Hopefully, the two boys will see daylight again.

The director decided to change the commercial's storyboard and was satisfied with it.

* * *

**COME ON GIRLS! Let's feel SEXY with Cover Girl make up! Seduce ANYBODY within minutes!**

_May, Misty, 'Ashley', and 'Andrea' walked out onto the grassy field set with a complete work of make up on their faces. _

_May wore a simple light blue sundress that went to her knees. She had her dark blue eye shadow, black eyeliners, foundation, and light pink blush on. The girl smiled seductively toward the camera and winked._

_Misty wore a similar yellow sundress that went a little past her mid-thigh. She had the same make up as May, but had orange eye shadow instead. She smiled to the camera and twirled._

_The new girls, 'Ashley' and 'Andrea' didn't look too happy. That was because they weren't really girls. They actually could pass as girls though! But, they were Ash and Drew wearing wigs, bras stuffed with loads of tissue paper, corsets under dresses to make them look like they had curves, and make up._

_Ash had to wear a short black wig that went to his shoulders with a red summer dress that went to his knees. His make up consisted of red eye shadow and all those other things. Ash did a cheesy grin and skipped through a fake field of flowers with Misty. _

_Drew was forced into a dark green wig that went to his mid-back with a pale green summer dress that went to his knees as well. His make up consisted of green eye shadow and such. Drew flipped his long hair over his shoulder and smirked at the camera. _

**Look how beautiful they look! I wish I had a makeover done by Cover Girl… Anyways, these products could make ANY girl look beautiful at her worst!**

_Just then, the scene changed to a room with a fancy mirror, chairs, and a big window._

_In wheeled a strapped-to-a-chair, Paul in a pink dress._

**OH MAN! LOOK AT THIS HIDEOUS WOMAN! NO WORRIES! COVER GIRL WILL DO HER MAGIC!**

_May, Misty, Drew, and Ash, all smirking toward Paul, started to surround him. He looked very worried, but also tried to hold in laughter after looking at the two fellow guys dressed as girls. Oh, but he'll be joining them soon._

**EYEBROW SHAPER!**

_Misty got a tiny toothpick looking comb that had a razor in between the teeth and began to shape his once thick eyebrows to thin bridges. She began to chuckle as Paul closed his eyes tightly. He did NOT want to see the result of all of this._

**FOUNDATION!**

_May applied a heavy load of foundation to Paul's face. _

**MAGENTA EYE SHADOW!**

_Drew picked up the cup and began to brush the swab over Paul's eye lid. The purple haired teen twitched at the touch._

**BLACK EYE LINER! MASCARA!**

_Knowing Ash couldn't apply make up to someone for his life, Misty stepped in and added the said products to the poor guy's face. She ended up poking Paul in his right eye with the chunky mascara brush. Ok, she couldn't aplly make up for her life too._

**OHMYGOSH! LOOK! The once hideous girl is now GORGOUS!**

_The four teens separated and Paul- or Paula- was shown. _

_May, Misty, Ash, and Drew burst out laughing. HE ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE A GIRL! _

_Paul looked in the mirror, screamed, and ran out of the set with the chair still on him.. _

**Ahhh, now you see how Cover Girl can work her magic. You should get some of this stuff, because I'M GETTING IT RIGHT AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL! **

_Ash and Drew ripped off their dresses, flung the wigs to the ground, and wiped off the make up, thinking the commercial was over, but it wasn't. So standing in corsets around their waists, stuffed bras, and panties were the poor guys as everyone watching became scarred for life. Everyone but the fan girls that is. It made them want to actually BUY the product since Drew used it..._

* * *

**BAHAHAHAHA! This one was long… Hehe, but I hoped you liked it! Thank you, my faithful readers! Next chapter should come soon!**


	10. Dentyne Ice & Mentos

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Almost at 60 reviews :] I'm very proud. **

**This specific one isn't supposed to be TOO funny. It's more of a shippy type, just so I can actually say that there's some contest/pokeshipping in this story. Yayy! **

**Queen of Houndooms: HAHAHAHA! A Pokemon game commercial? That's so neat! I'll try that one if I can.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**Remember, this is more of a shippy commercial rather than a comedy! There will be attempts at humor, but don't be so down if it isn't funny. I hope the next chapter would be more humorous.**

**This chapter is really rated T, because of specific actions. **

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

* * *

Gum Commercials; Dentyne Ice&Mentos

_Narrators: Brock (only one line)_

_

* * *

_

**DENTYNE ICE: **

**You know you're ready to get close to someone when you're using Dentyne Ice!**

A couple known as May and Drew walked inside an apartment, coming back from a date. They were laughing until May pulled out a pack of Dentyne Ice gum. Both popped a piece in their mouth and were about to kiss ...

* * *

"WAIT!" The director interrupted. "You don't just go into the kiss. You gotta put your arms around each other!" May and Drew blushed at the suggestion.

"Do we really have to do this commercial?" May complained

"If you want your monthly pay check, yes." the director replied, getting groans from the teens."Ok take 2!"

* * *

The same scene happened and they were getting ready to go in for the kiss. Drew simply placed his hands on the girls waist, as May plopped her arms on the boys shoulders. Leaning in they-

* * *

"Ughh you two are doing it all wrong!" once again the director yelled. "You don't just place your arms around the waist!" he said glaring at Drew. May giggled, "And you don't just slam your arms on shoulders!" May stopped laughing and rolled her eyes.

The director sighed. "Take 3!"

* * *

Back at the kiss scene, they did the arm movements right; Drew slipping his hands on the waist, and May snaking her arms around his neck. They were millimeters apart until they both twitched/flinched.

* * *

"Dammit! You two were so close!" the man said in disappointment. "no twitching! Get comfortable! Aren't you two going out already! You should be used to this!"

"Ummm we only went out for lunch once" Drew corrected.

"Yeah, and it was because I won a bet where drew would buy me a big lunch" May joined in.

The director groaned. This wasn't working. "Just try again... Take 4!"

* * *

The two got back to their places and replayed the same scene. This time their lips actually met in an awkward stage kiss, but it was too short/quick.

"I'm not even gonna say anything. Take 5"

This time the two made it last a few seconds longer, but there was too much blushing and twitching again.

"Take 6! Jeez! Do you guys watch ANY romance movies!"

Replay after replay they seemed to not get anything right, and the two's faces were extremely red due to the multiple fake kissing and closeness.

"Take 7!"  
"No too boring. Make it amazing or seductive guys..."  
"Take 8!"  
"Drew, stop smirking!"  
"Take 9"  
"May, move your hands in his hair to make it look sexy. Drew move your hands around her back!"  
"Take 10!"  
"May you're blushing wayyy too much. Drew I heard that chuckle!"  
"Take 11!"  
"Holy crap you guys. Ok break time. May, Drew, come with me."

* * *

The director took the two to another set which was filled with cubicles. An office set.

"Watch these two pros" he said as he pointed to the scene.

"ASH AND MISTY!" May and Drew yelled, seeing their friends on the side, only to be shushed.

* * *

**MENTOS**

Ash plopped himself on an office chair near a water fountain in the hall. The guy took out a pack of Mentos and popped one in his mouth. After at least 10 chews, Misty came walking down the aisle, bending down to Ash's level.

Then, she tilted her head horizontally and kissed him. She did a few kisses until she got up and continued her walk.

Ash looked dazed until he realized that his gum is now gone. He gasped.

"Dammit Misty! Now I gotta get another one!"

Ash took another Mento out and started chewing again, until Dawn came walking in. The boy began to freak out when the blunette sank to his level. He quickly took his chewed gum out of his mouth and held it out to the girl.

"Here! Here! Just take it!" he yelled franticly. Dawn looked confused and disgusted.

"Ewww Ash! I don't want your ABC gum! I'm just here to notify you that you've got a meeting in five minutes! Sicko!"

Ash sweat dropped as the girl sauntered off. He shrugged and placed the gum back in his mouth, walking off set as if he were going to the room where the meeting took place.

A new set came up and he was now in a big meeting room. He looked upon his fellow workers until he saw Misty, smirking at him as she started to walk closer.

"AHHH!" Ash screamed as he ran out of the room, terrified of the red head who has scarred him for life. Misty chuckled and took her seat back in the meeting room. The other business people looked confused, but continued their previous conversation anyways.

* * *

"And we're finished!" the other director of this commercial yelled. Everyone began to clap and shake hands.

"See! You gotta act like that! Make the kiss look real and seductive!" May and Drew looked at each other with worried expressions on their faces.

The three walked back to their original set and began to get ready.

Before it started, Drew pulled May into the back and whispered a plan into her ear, making her blush again.

"You sure you wanna do that?" she asked, only receiving a nod from her partner. "Oookaayy then..."

* * *

"Take 12! And ACTION!"

Once again, the two entered the apartment and popped the product into their mouths. Their eyes gazing seductively into one another's. Just then, they put their hands where they were told and pulled in for a passionate kiss. Not a stage kiss, a real one. May ran her fingers in Drew's hair as his hands began to move across her back. What started out as a soft and gentle kiss, became a hungry and rough make out session. Drew pushed May into the wall, continuing without releasing for air, only to be pushed back onto the sofa by May.

The director was in tears. This was better than The Notebook! Or any other romance movie! He was so proud. They were almost done, because after this, all they had to do was add ice effects coming out of their mouths and fogged up windows, etc. Whatever fit the ice theme!

* * *

"Aaand we're finished!" the camera man exclaimed.

The couple got off of each other, smirking and wiping their mouths. Haha they finally finished and made their boss cry!

After getting praised by the director, the two made their way out of the set to meet up with Ash and Misty outside later on.

"Sooo..." Drew started while smirking, "wanna do it again?"

"You bet." the girl replied with a smirk of her own.

* * *

**Ok this was a little disturbing, I know, but I had the urge to make at least some kind of shippy part to this story. Sorry if I freaked you guys out, but I'll be planning on more humor later on. Thanks for reading! Bye!**


	11. Pokemon Games & WhackAnAsh

**Commercial Breaks:**

**70 REVIEWS! HOLY SHIZNIT!**

**I decided to make an 11****th**** chapter. I was supposed to end it at 10, but meh, I guess I got bored. **

**Thank youuu! **

**Btw, thank you for the idea, Queen :D. I felt like doing a Pokemon one, but it might not go so well.**

**UltimateCCC: How do I do a Kool-Aid commercial? Lol I'll see if I come up with something!**

**This one is kinda just rants. It might suck, so you should skip it! I just uploaded this due to extreme randomness. I have nothing else better to do. **

**Due to the poor quality of this chapter, I will give you a heads up that I _MIGHT _be doing Febreeze for the next chapter. :] Or maybe I'll end it here. I dunno. **

**Read on if you're willing to waste time. I warn you that it SUCKS. Well, to me atleast. I couldn't find anything to laugh at in my own story! T_T**

* * *

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

* * *

Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Pearl/Diamond/Platinum [No HeartGold/SoulSilver]

_Narrator: Ash and Drew _

* * *

**F(Bleep) YEAH! BECOME THE POKEMON MASTER ****THE EASY WAY**** ALTERNATE UNIVERSE PEOPLE! **

_Ash holds up a GameBoy SP with Pokemon Ruby in the slot._

**No need for the real traveling or the real hard work like we have to go through! You just gotta buy the dang cartridge, game console, and cheat book! Heck, you can even go ONLINE to find short cuts! But noooo- not for us who are stuck in the anime! **

_Ash disappointingly shakes his head. _

**Hmm, now that I think of it; how does a journey fit into this little cartridge? It's sooo amusing!**

_He begins poking his finger into the open section in the cartridge, getting his finger stuck._

**AUUGHH! CRAP! Umm… ANYWAYS! I'm gonna continue my rant. Ok, first of all, WHERE AM I IN ALL OF THESE? I WENT TO HOENN ****AND**** SINNOH ****WITH MAY AND DAWN. **

**Instead, they let the two girls travel alone! Nothing to eat since they don't have Brock! Nothing to hold them back from joining contests due to my gym battle schedule! MY GOSH WHERE AM I? Where's MY game? One with MISTY AND BROCK? **

**Dude, Max and Drew aren't even in the Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald games! They replaced Rival Drew with Rival **_**BRENDAN**_**! **

**WHO THE HELL IS THAT? **

**I mean, I would have thought they would put Drew in the Emerald version; considering the fact that he's green.**

**Whatever, I guess I'm too good to be in these games anyways. I'd beat those virtual trainers within seconds. They actually have a specific level you need to look at, unlike HERE, where you have to just train until you've beaten them. Gosh, you AU people have it the easy way. **

**I'm out of here. I need to let out my anger on Whack-A-Diglett. **

**DREW! TAKE MY PLACE!**

_Drew now pops on screen. _

**Hey AU people. I must agree; you all have it the easy way with this piece of plastic. I mean, c'mon, contests with just ONE move each time? Then you get these virtual hearts depending how you did? There's no battles? WEAKLINGS! I CAN TAKE YOU ON ANYDAY!**

**I hate how May gets all the attention in these R/S/E games with that Brendan kid. Seriously, where am I? Am I not important enough? I'm DREW. Heck, I would've thought MAX would be there. I guess he doesn't exist. Poor guy. **

**I guess I should show you how this works; for all you people out there who have no idea what Pokemon is. MAY, get over here and help me out!**

* * *

Outside Littleroot

"What? I don't live here! I live in Petalburg! Where's Max?" May asked franticly as Drew inserted the cartridge in the game.

"Yeah, these creators jacked up our lives." He said, turning the SP on and starting it up. "HAHA! I'M MAY!" He shouted with a smirk.

"Wait, does that mean-" she got cut off when Drew began using the control pad to run/walk. "AHHH! Why can't I control myself? Why is there a different song everywhere I go?"

May is now running around town while Drew is evilly grinning and moving the arrows around. He made her talk to random strangers, bump into buildings and trees, and run for miles. Then he made her bump into her 'rival'.

"Hi. Brendan. How. Are. You?" she didn't mean to say that! The words just came out of her mouth!

"Uhh, I'm good. You?" he replied back to the brunette.

"Let's. Have. A. Battle." May said with a robot voice. Oh noo! It's part of the game that's making her say things!

"No thanks, May, I have to help my Dad. Sorry!" Brendan began to slowly walk away backwards; this situation was completely awkward for him. May sighed; she blamed the jerk with the green hair for this.

"Nice May, you scared your 'other rival' away." Drew smirked as he made her walk over to his side. "Well, off to the other places, shall we?" May obviously had no choice but to agree, because even if she said no, he would just use the stupid control thing.

So the day went on with May being forced into Gym Battles, Contests, Gambling, and other useless things. That is, until the SP died.

"Aw man! I ran out of battery!" the green haired teen yelled at the game console.

"I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" May screamed to the heavens as she ran as far away from Drew as possible.

* * *

Meanwhile in Snowpoint

"PAUL! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP USING THAT DAMN DS! I HAVE A CONTEST TO GET READY FOR AND YOU AREN'T HELPING BY CONTROLLING ME!" Dawn shouted to a purple haired teen. Paul had managed to get himself one of these toys and mess around. He'd been controlling the girl for hours in random towns and cities. Man, was he enjoying it.

Until the game died.

Oh shit. He was dead. Just like the game.

"YOU BASTARD! IT'S TOO LATE TOO TRAIN NOW!" a very very angered Dawn screamed as she ran to him and kicked him in the balls. Hard. After successfully making Paul regret controlling her in the first place, she trotted off to the Pokemon Center to rest.

* * *

"I can't believe they didn't even put me in these games! I mean, come on! I traveled with Ash for at least 4 seasons! I don't even count anymore! This thing _MUST_ die." A red-head complained as she took out her mallet.

"FACE MISTY'S WRATH YOU STUPID CARTRIDGES!"

Bam bam, and it was shattered to pieces.

**Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Pearl/Diamond/Platinum: THE EASY WAY TO BECOME A POKEMON TRAINER/COORDINATOR.**

* * *

**WOO BONUS COMMERCIAL: _Whack-An-Ash _**

"Hi guys! It's Misty here with my new product, 'Whack-An-Ash'! It's a very simple game that's similar to Whack-A-Diglett, but mine features Ash Ketchums and Pikachus!"

_Misty takes a blanket off of a hidden box to reveal a carnival game._

"You see, all you have to do is hit Ash heads like this-" Misty said as she violently hit a Ash head that popped out from one of the nine holes present. "-and you avoid the Pikachus! If you hit a Pikachu, you get shocked and lose! Watch our own Ash try this game out."

_Ash comes up on screen and grabs a replica of Misty's mallet. After sliding in a coin, his plastic heads come popping up. _

_Thinking he had to hit the Pikachus, he avoided hitting his own heads and waited for a yellow mouse to come up._

_'PIKA!' the game shouted._

_Thinking this was his time to shine, he whacked the Pikachu as hard as he could, only to be shocked with a Thunderbolt. _

"Stupid, it's called WHACK-AN-ASH!" Misty scolded. "YOU WHACK YOUR HEAD! NOT PIKACHU'S!"

_Being an idiot, Ash took the hammer and whacked his own head; therefore, making him faint._

"...Nevermind Ash. You are forever forbidden to play this game. Anyways, you all can enjoy this game at any of your local carnivals! Have fun and don't hit Pikachus!"

* * *

**LOL this one really sucked. I meant to make something better out of it, but I guess it never came to me. Anyways, I haven't updated this in awhile! I lost my sense of humor within 9-10 days! AHHH! I'm so sad. :[ **

**I've been focusing so much on my other fic, that I kinda lost touch with this one. Blahhh. I hate myself.**

**Thanks for actually making it this far you guys. **


	12. Febreeze

**Commercial Breaks:**

**Oh danngg. 77 reviews :] I'm proud. Thanks again and again and again and yeah.**

**Sorry for not updating in forever… I'm really busy with all my classes. **

**Also, to those who are reading Keep Your Face Up, I'd like to let you know that it might be awhile longer until the next update. I'm kinda confused on what to do now. **

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

**I do not own the characters or the products mentioned in this story.**

**BOLD: NARRATOR**

_ITALICS: ACTIONS_

REGULAR: Well.. Regular.

* * *

Febreeze Auto-Spray: 

_Narrator: None_

* * *

"ASH! DAMMIT GET BACK HERE!" An orange haired girl yelled while chasing the said boy around the house with her mallet.

"I'm sorry misty! Really! I'll never do it again!" Ash cried.

Apparently, Ash had thrown a stuffed toy Spinarak at Misty who was innocently watching TV. It was supposed to be a joke, but Misty was _NOT_ laughing. In fact, she was screaming. Poor Ash. The repeated screams for him to get closer so she could whack him hadn't worked so far. Well, no duh. If someone was chasing you with a gun, you wouldn't exactly walk back toward them or slow down. That's just asking for death. This is exactly what Ash was thinking.

Now back to the advertisement.

Ah yes, so plugged into the wall between the living room and kitchen was a Febreeze auto-spray. Just sitting there, minding its own business. Every time you pass this product, it will spray you with an amazing scent. Or so they say.

Lap one of the chase: _spray_. Not noticed

Lap 2: _spray_. Still not noticed.

Lap 3: _spray_. Yes! They noticed.

Misty dropped her mallet and the two stood in front of the object. When did that get there? Uhhh, this whole commercial, yeah.

"Huh? What's this? It's seems to be spritzing a scented substance whenever we pass by!" Misty observed with a 'smart tone'.

"Ooh! It smells so good!" Ash exclaimed. "It's like a mixture of cupcakes, roses, lilies, and ramen! AMAZING!"

"Eww Ash... Those things would NOT smell good together!" she looked at him in disgust. "I say it smells more like laundry detergent..."

Ash groaned, "No Misty! You're wrong! It smells like my favorite foods and flowers!" he leaned into the auto-spray thing.

"No it doesn't!" she retorted, leaning in as well. They were so close to the product then…

_**Spray**_.

"Ahhh! My eyes! It burns!" the two screamed, rubbing their now red eyes furiously.

"Stupid thing!" Ash yanked the product out of the outlet and threw it on the floor.

"You will die!" Misty picked her mallet back up and smashed it into pieces.

Ash got on his knees and smelled the carpet where the liquid was spilled.

"Yep. Definitely smells like my favorites"

Misty sighed and rolled her eyes, watching the teen sniff at the carpet. "I feel bad for those who actually have to work with these things…"

* * *

_Somewhere in the Febreeze Company…_

"Alright! Jane! Mark! Your shift is over! May and Drew, you're up!" the megaphone guy yelled.

Out of the little white building came a female and male, of which looked very exhausted with red teary eyes. Going in was another pair.

"Ahh, I see. This is where they test all those Auto-Spray products before they box them up." May confirmed as the two entered the small room.

"I can't believe you signed us up for this, May. It's so lame!" Drew groaned as they both stared wide-eyed at the place.

The room was filled with Febreeze Auto-Sprays in every spot on the walls. Every single wall had one of those damn products on it. Oh Em Ge. They were screwed.

"ALRIGHT! YOU GUYS HAVE 20 MINUTES. ENJOY!" the announcer went and the doors slammed behind them before they could retreat. "AND IT STARTS NOW."

Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray.

It was never-ending. They kept spraying and there was no way out.

May screamed. "It smells horrible! It's like… a combination of cupcakes, roses, lilies, and ramen! Ooooh, I'll never be able to look at these things the same way again!" She buried her face in her hands.

"Seriously, May? I thought it just smelt like laundry detergent…" Drew commented (De ja vu?), "Hey wait, does that mean my roses are bad now?" May nodded and Drew yelled, "Damn you Febreeze!"

Just then... "ACK! MY EYES!" They both shouted in agony. 5 minutes in, and they were already hating it. Let's hope they survive, yes?

15 minutes later.

Drew coughed and said weakly, "May… I- I don't think I can go on much longer!" He collapsed to the floor.

"No! Drew! You can't leave me now! There's only 5 minutes left! You can do this!" May encouraged.

"-cough- No. I can't. The smell; it's too strong!" His eyelids became heavy.

"No! Don't! I need you!" May had tears in her eyes.

"May… Before I pass out, I'd like to tell you one thing," Drew stared into her eyes as May leaned in closer to hear. "I- I…" Tears came running down her face.

"I knew this… was a bad… idea." His eyes closed. "You- You suck." Those were his last words until he fell into a deep sleep.

May gasped in horror. How dare he say she sucked! Pfft so what? She didn't care if he just passed out. He said she sucked! When he gets up after the remaining 5 minutes, she'll beat his ass up! She sat in a corner, far away from her friend and glared at his body for the remaining minutes, even if she got some spray in her eyes. Oooh he was gonna get it bad…

5 minutes later.

Their time was up, and Drew was still passed out on the floor. May grabbed his collar and dragged him out of the room, taking her and his paycheck from the announcer. Yes, they got 100 bucks each for sitting in a room filled with auto-sprayers.

The brunette slapped the teen awake. "Huh? What? I'm alive?" he asked himself, "HOLY SHIT! I'M ALIVE!"

"Not for long…" May growled and took out a giant Febreeze spray bottle. "Oh no…" Drew muttered and began to sprint away from the crazy girl. She started to run and spray after him, screaming, "DREW, YOU ASSHOLE! NOBODY TELLS ME I SUCK! GET BACK HERE!"

And so that's how the day went. Febreeze had ruined the 4 teenagers' lives completely. THE END.

* * *

**Haha, sorry for the lack of humor again. You guys were probably hoping for something amazingly funny, but I'm really lacking in that stuff. Maybe I should make a crack fic someday. That'll be fun.**

**Anyways, I'm running out of ideas, and I think this will be the end, unless I end up coming up with more later on in my life. It's been a great time entertaining you all and myself. Again, I love you all, and enjoy your lives. **

**I will forever remember Commercial Breaks. **

**I hope I can come up with new ideas soon. For now, this is complete. :]**

**Thank you for your patience as well. **

**Forever yours,**

**Faithess. **


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